A month or so ago I found a rock on my dresser that had been engraved with the word "Hope", it is about an inch across and fairly flat. I have been carrying that rock in my pocket on days that I wear pants with a pocket. I put the rock in my pocket in the morning when I am getting dressed and periodically will rub it through the day. Then when I come home and change out of my work clothes I place it back on our dresser.
The rock was left there by my husband who received it at the inaugural service when our old Church relocated across town last fall. I did not attend that service, don't remember why, but he came home and told me that "the service was very nice" and that is all I really remembered about the day that rock came to live on our dresser.
While I did not attend the service and the initial message was lost on me the "Hope" rock has become quite a comfort to me the last few weeks. And comfort is something that I cherish lately. My family has suffered quite a few upheavals over the last nine months. The loss of our main source of income, our oldest child suddenly relocating 2500 miles and three time zones away, a situation that has required temporary relocation for my husband and most recently the loss of a beloved pet. Singularly some of these things are bigger than others but collectively it has been a lot to deal with.
There are many people around me both personally and professionally that are dealing with similar issues regarding unemployment and if they are lucky underemployment and I know they understand how it feels. I recently told a friend that more of my friends and members of my family are unemployed than employed. She said she thought I was way off base until she started realizing that this horrible fact is true in her life too. Her husband recently lost his job as well. I finally believe that the old saying "misery loves company" is wrong. When you are miserable you need your friends to not be miserable. You need them to be strong, wise and available to offer hope. This is hard for them when they are miserable too.
My niece recently posted on her Facebook that she was watching her neighbor preparing to bail on their home and how unfair it was that she couldn't do that too. Her husband is also underemployed. I understand what she means. My family has been lucky, I work in a profession that has not been hit too hard, we have savings, we cut back drastically, we reset our priorities and we have not missed a single house, car or any other type of payment. Even my homeowner dues are current. I was raised by middle class parents who taught me to live within my means and to manage money appropriately. Yes, for this I am thankful and I know that I am blessed. But when I hear about "bailouts", "restructuring", "delaying", etc... I feel angry that nobody wants to "bail" me out too. But my anger is unjustified because we can take of ourselves and we are not the type of family that accepts "help" easily.
I know that everything that is happening to my family and friends is meant to be. I have a strong faith that God is control of my life and that He will take care of us. This has most certainly been the case up to this point. "God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble, Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change, And the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; Though its waters roar and foam, Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride." Psalm 46:1-3.
I have shared with a close friend what I think the lessons are that I am supposed to be learning through all of these recent trials. The lessons are for me. I know that the answers to the lessons lie within me, but only because I have a strong faith (that is getting stronger) and because I know that all the other trials that I have encountered through my life have prepared me for what I face today. My husband used to tell me that God never gives your more than you can handle. I hated it when he said that. And I still don't really want to hear him say it again but I know that he is right. My job is to learn the lessons and be an example to my own family and friends. Most importantly I want my kids to know that life is full of these lessons. Sometimes they come at you fast and furious like they have for our family the last year. And then there will be periods where the lessons will be few and far between. All of them are important though and it is important to remember that we can get through all of them.
So, first thing tomorrow I will put the Hope rock in my pocket and when I am feeling overwhelmed or sad I will gently rub the rock and appreciate that my Hope is cemented by my faith in God. Happy Easter. It is a New Day!
